This quote really hit home.
"'Because I said so!', or 'it is the rule, and you know it!' are not effective defenses of a moral position."
I had a friend in High School who's parents would yell phrases like this. They were constantly unwilling to listen to her explanations or explain to her why she was being punished. I remember how demeaning it felt. She struggled a lot with the "control" of her parents, and they never had a good relationship.
"Because I said so" is such a tempting phrase especially when you are running short on patience. I can see how in the end it would short change to end goal of what you are trying to teach your children. It's good to strengthen my resolve to not use that with my kids. :) Which friend? Let me guess... Josie?
ReplyDeleteCan I post 2 comments on one post? Hehe... I found this as I was posting my thoughts:
ReplyDelete"Teaching children to focus just on the rules and laws does not prepare them to be as adaptable as they will need to be in order to act morally in a variety of situations." P11p2
I think this explains why you can't just say "Because I said so." It doesn't prepare them to adapt to the variety of situations they will be faced with when you are not with them.
Which leads to...
"When a child acts appropriately without supervision, a community standard has become a child's personal standard." P8p3
Every mother's dream: a child behaving the way you have taught them, in your absence. Not obeying b/c they'll get in trouble from mom but obeying b/c it's their own personal standard. Gold Star!